pre-halloween madness

written: 10/27/06

current music: CRAZY by Gnarls Barkley

curren mood: mental

Today I'm paranoid--paranoid about all sorts of things. First, I've misplaced my headset. My darn headset is like one of the most important things in my life right now. Not by choice but by necessity. All I can think right now is how to get it back. You see, it has never happened to me before but I guess there will always be a first time.

Now when I reported this to my sup, she got really pissed off..like all hell broke loose from within her fragile body. Well, she has all the reason to summon apocalypse and to go berserk over me. Here's my top three:

1. She's always thought of me as someone who'd commit such stupid mistakes.

2.She has PMS.

3. She has bigger issues to attented to, bigger problems to solve like her gastritis or somethng.

Three reason why I love her to pieces. Well, if that is the case, to hell with my headset. I've got bigger problems to attend to like saving the world or something.

Here's what makes me more paranoid. Last night, Dad texted me. He said he's bringing my gramms to the doctor. He added, that i shouldn't worry. She's just probably under the weather. Maybe.. But the last time I heard those words was the day before my uncle died (2-3 months ago maybe) and when my mom died (almost a year from now). Of course, those are two different scenarios. I don't mean harm against my dad. The thing is who wouldn't get paranoid.. I think paranoia runs in the family. My mom was the most paranoid person I knew when it comes to family emergencies. Thanks for handing down the paranoid genes to me, ma... Well, I worry because Gramms is not that young as she looks. I've always get this weird feeling that the people I care most about gets handpicked by Mr. Fate himself and deports them to the great beyond. Yeah, I know.. Crazy. I'm so paranoid, I'm close to believing in SUKOB.. hahaha, pathetic isn't..

Okay, this is madness, probably because halloween is just around the corner and there's this thing called the "power of suggestion". On second thought, let me look for my handset...life's a bitch ain't it..and so is my sup..so, gotta get going before armageddon comes.

blink

"LIFE is like nintendo without the reset button"
Quiet. It's deafening when you're trying hard to think clearly. The invisible sound of your brain when it's trying to process information is defeaning. Your soul is astir though. It's having it's own sugar high, it's adrenaline rush. However, your brain, your ultimate weapon sits right on top. Millions of neurons short-circuiting, synapses bend and snap. There's nothing to decipher. You're brain-dead or perhaps just thinking too hard.
You stare blankly at the wall trying to count the black ants that parade. Marching, marching, marching. Left, right, left.At least, they're working unlike you, you lie there dumbfounded. Dumbfounded..pondering why you count them, drones in and out of a small hole.
There's no hunger, no thirst that you feel. You just lie there quietly. You hum and hum. Weary, you felt weary. Then, eureka it hit you like, a lightning bolt that struck a tree. Instant electricity surging through your body. You find life so mundane. You can't even think straight. You're searching for some sort of cheap thrill you decide to get out of you're mouse hole. Looking outside the window, the view is quite calming, like camomile. The sky appears to be a combination of purple and orange or is it hellish red? You're confused. Maybe you're colorblind.
You step outside the balcony. The late afternoon breeze made you shiver. Looking down, it made you feel nauseated. Closing your eyes, you imagine yourself flying. Softly you land in deep slumber. You have found the reset button at last.
You're eyes hurt. Standing up, your eyes wander. There is nothing to see. Pitch black.It's still quiet. Suddenly, images appear. You see yourself when you were three. Images flash like the house you used to live in, the kids in the neighborhood, your first day in school,your 5th grade math teacher, the high school intramurals, your senior prom, t h/s graduation, your college entrance exam result, the big interview, your logic professor, midterm examinations wherein you aced the test (this is the first time you've done well in your exams! Good Job!), the hospital room where you're mom was confined, the loneliest christmas ever (which you almost spent it inside the hospital, your college graduation (which your mom missed), the day she died, her funeral. Many images flashing one by one like a deck of cards flashed infront of your eyes. It's nauseating. Your head is spinning. It's spinning too fast. You shouted. The images froze in suspended animation. You noticed one image. It suddenly moves into action, like a film rolling. There it is...the one wherein you were newly born. Your little feet being pulled out from your mom. The first cry. The first slap. Your official initiation. She's holding your fragile body which is wrapped in cloth, it's stained with blood. She smelled your forehead. You yawned. You felt comforted and very secure. She cuddled you in her arms. It brought you to tears.
Jolt. Jolt. Jolt. Squinting, blinking. Lights. Bright lights. Blinding lights. Consciousness reapproached. The ants, they continue to hum along and march. You on the otherhand are dumbfounded by what just happened. Again your synapses bend and snap. But nothing happened. You're brain must have gone haywire. It was the most exihilirating experience yet. I guess it's back to square one.
Quiet. It's deafening when you're trying hard to think clearly, the invisible sound of your brain when it's trying to process information is defeaning. Lucid dreaming at its finest is hard to master.

*inspired by a true story*

it's a small world!: reloaded

Before i proceed with the main post, allow me to give you a recap of what happened during the weekend.

I walked right out of my shift. Went home, grab a bite. Change into the castaway clothes that I'm fond of wearing and... I was good to go. Went to the venue, met up with the Jedi Master, an Elf, some startroopers but no losties to be found..it was later in the day when people begun piling in our "station" Karen brought her laptop. we were able to show season 2.. We also have our usual displays like magazines, books and the like..The first members came in character too (Thanks, sabby, mika and rem! and Hi Rej! Thanks for being always perky!) We also have a newly converted lostie and look-a-like of KATE, Yan who came out of my coercion. Chris Cantada of sponge cola dropped by as well, had a little chat about the show and about their LOST-inspired song that Yael wrote, obviously they're fans as well..

Isang patalastas..

Get a copy of their sophomore album TRANSIT, the title of the song is The Wandering.

Okay, back to our regular programming..All went well. Actually we're still short in terms of active members. As the other group think, I pirate people from their group to hop into our ship..Well, that's the point of alliances right?! sheez!
Anyhow, we'll be having another event. This time we'd get to host a marathon at the Brash Young Cinema maybe this november. I'll post the update once it's all set. We'll probably be showing a recap of season 2 and first 5 epis of season 3.
So there you go...Stay tuned. I'd post the photos as soon i have them uploaded..lol.

***ok here, goes****

the PHOTOS from the MAPUA INCIDENT

***if the link doesn't work... don't blame me. I ain't a techie!***

Moving on the main post, still lost related though..Have you heard of the theory of centrality? No this is not, E= MC2, genius?!

Here's how it works. Let me quote what Carlton Cuse said:

"Have you ever sat next to someone at a bar and felt that your paths have crossed before? Has the thought ever crossed your mind that the stranger behind you at the store would become a sigificant part of your life? In 1929, a Hungarian writer (Frigyes Karinthy) put forth the idea that anyone of us could name any one person among the earth's billions of inhabitants and through, at most 5 acquaintances, connect that person back to themselves. He called it "The Theory of Centrality". Today it's more commonly known as "Six-Degrees of Separation".

Looking around, there's a sea of people, in a subway station, the mall or anywhere at all. Have you ever wondered?

"Do you know any of them? Do any of them know you? Do any of them know someone you know? Odds are that the answer to anyone of these questions is yes. Perhaps they've crossed paths with you, or a loved one, years ago at work, at home, on a trip. Thoughout the world, connects are constantly being made. Which begs the question; are chance encounters a matter of coincidence, or a matter of fate? Open your eyes and look around you. Mathematically, in a world of billions, is the theory plausible? And if so, is it possible that seemingly random connections have significance? Are these meeting mere chance? Or could there be a larger picture that has yet to come into focus?"


Yup. The saying "it's a small world" is true, brotha! I do believe in it. You know why? Here's why. I'm not good with names. In fact, I am terrible when it comes to names. But I'm pretty good with faces though. There was this one time where I bumped into the same person for the entire day. First, we were riding in the same jeep, We walked across the same street. By lunch, we were in the same restaurant. On my way back from work, we were in the same train. What are the odds?! Nope, that person is stalking me. I don't see an reason why I'd be stalked by this person. I hope we're not meant to be coz' it would be such a shame, we'd be having the same cup size and share the same brand of sanitary napkins. What significance will this multiple acquaintances make? The answer is.. I don't know..yet.
Think about it.

I believe in this theory. Here's my own version of LOST connections.
I have a cousin-- Ate ting whose best friend is DIANE (Deejay, thanks for the correction. See, I told you I'm worst when it comes to names) the sister of TOM,my partner during her 18th birthday (the cotillion thing). He introduced me to his friends KIEL, JP and Joel. These guys were Faye's school mates as well, Faye's one of my friends whom I met during college. Tom and Tin is the cousin of Deejay, whom I've also met in college. Joel's current gf is NYA2, nya2 is the sister of my friend, KATE. Kate has been my friend since high school. She was part of the group that I did not belong to until our second year in H/S. I was formally introduced to her other friends. Ariane, Faye, Emz and Rubs. Ariane's one of my housemates right now. Small world, huh?
Here's another example. Before me and my bff met, her parents used to live at the same compound that my mom's family lived. In fact, her mom told me that when we were kids, she used to bring her along when she goes the bank where my mom is working. There was this one time that I was also there. We were introduced. but hey, I guess we were too young to remember. Her mom is the godmother of my cousin Wande.
I would love to post more but then again, this post will take me a few more months before it can be published. Plus, you'd probably kill me for making you read a post containing list of people i've met throughout my lifetime.

Here's an advice. Why don't you apply the 6 DEGREES of Separation theory and let's see what will you come up with..
Meanwhile, all together now, "it's a small world after all." 5x

Find Yourself...Get Lost!

We're back.. with vengeance! joke! We're hyped. We're totally excited for another LOST-related event.. The Lost Philippines collectively known as "LOST Pinoys" will be having another "gathering" this tuesday to prepare for the pre-halloween event hosted by NWA on saturday OCT. 21, 2006 in MAPUA from 8am-4pm.

The meeting will held at starbucks, greenbelt 1 5pm. Please drop by if you're interested. If not. Get a life!? watch LOST!

random thoughts..

On "Milenyo"

It would be pointless to wear a shirt that says 'I survived Milenyo'. Aside from the fact that it has left some parts of the country into ruin-- like--billboards crashing into cars, landslides and water-soaked schools, it took many lives. Innocent lives that is. However, even though mother nature is partly to be blamed, we cannot ignore the fact that hey, there are scumbags like the billboard people who placed those o-so humogous pictures of kris acquino, shaina and the like---illegally (meaning no permit?). These o-so precious billboards of yours, you scumbags killed an innocent, hardworking driver and left a number injured...Ok, so it may sound like I'm one of those activists you normally see, screaming their lungs out for justice's sake.... well maybe in a way. I know that i won't be able to offer anything to those whose lives have been changed forever but hey, at least I am aware of their situation..and perhaps have given them some sort of recognition.. recognition for what? Maybe, for having being victimized by these scumbags and by nature's wrath.. This brings me to the question of "why do bad things happen to good people?" i'm not saying that those people deserves a premium seat in their flight to heaven. It's just sad that innocent people have to suffer. Zealot! I am not. Just a concerned, ordinary citizen who at that time was sitting infront of the computer, working her a** off. For crying out loud, it could have been me in their place. But then again, maybe He has a greater plan for me... to become a Zealot.. well, a zealot I am not. All i can say is that hell hath no fury like mother nature's scorn. Repent for the end of days is near. *enter demonic laughter*

ON "MAKING POVERTY HISTORY"

Is there a way for us to be alliviated from scum of a life that we are in? Yes, if we just truly understand the meaning of "just distribution of goods" (economics ba ito?) or much better if we don't throw away money into the drain like some rich kids do.. Dude, pare, chong,I read an article in this magazine. Someone gave her puppy a birthday party. Yes, you heard me right! A puppy party!?! A puppy party consists of customized balloons, cakes, giveaways, party hats, and other customizeds stuff for her pooch. One word. Poocha! I'm not being a zealot and a hypocrite here. And i know what you're thinking, if you are reading this entry. Hate me now while you still have a chance.. You're thinking, hey, leave her alone it's her own money that she's spending. Maybe. But would it hurt to share this money to those who are in need or to exaggerate it..to those who are really in need. I mean c'mon. It's a dog. Would the dog say" Wow, I have a puppy party. Let's do this until I turn 12 and die!" On the otherhand, I admire her for treating her pet like..well... like one of us but hey, in my own honest opinion someone out there would wish he or she was your dog and experience such royalty treatment.. For me, you're just simply throwing your money away. Here are legitimate reasons for splurging:

1. Buying an original cd of the Tribute to APO " Kami nAPO muna"- hey! These guys are like icons of the music industry. They're a living legend. Do yourself a favor, don't buy pirated cd's and give these guys a credit.I promise you will not end up in hell when you die. It only costs P300.00. Buying pirated audio and visual works of art degrades the artists, cheapens the entire industry and the whole country. ( Zealot! I am not!)

2.P 1, 500 worth of wardrobe. Times are hard I know, and if you're one of those people who would rather die than to get caught wearing the same shirt that your coñotic friends have. Here's a tip. Put on you're Gucci-guccihan sun glasses, bring some moolah ($$$$) then ransack your nearest UK. But just a piece of advice please skip the underwear and lingerie section.I'm sure you won't regret this. There are alot of good finds and it'll make you want to burn you're overpriced prada and whatstheirname designer chuvaness.

3. In the spirit of commaraderie, contribute to the LA MESA DAM preservation advocacy. If you cannot afford to be seen wearing one of those baller bands that they sell in your favorite coffee shop (starfcks). Gear up your thumb for mega-texting to the max to register. Each text is equivalent to one signature for their sig.- campaign against the scumbags that would like to build mansions in exchange of potable water in the entire metro manila. Bloody brilliant! Consume P500 worth of load or if you're fabulously rich enough, what is unlimited texting to you anyway?! Think of this--What would your favorite frap be without our precious 100% putrified h2o...

If this does not push through.. All I can say is...Tata' darlings, See you in the afterlife..Pray that there's unlimited supply of Evian there.. I heard it's rather parched in that side of the underworld...

On "HOW TO BE MISERABLE"

for spamming-sake my co-worker forwarded me this e-mail.

HOW TO BE MISERABLE:

· Think about yourself.
· Talk about yourself.
· Use "I" as often as possible.
· Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
· Listen greedily to what people say about you.
· Expect to be appreciated.
· Be suspicious.
· Be jealous and envious.
· Be sensitive to comments about you.
· Never forgive a criticism.
· Trust nobody but yourself.
· Insist on consideration and respect.
· Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
· Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favours shown them.
· Never forget a service you have rendered.
· Avoid your duties if you can.
· Do as little as possible for others."

For blogging purposes here is my take on this topic.

we are all schmucks. We continually undergo unique forms of self-flagellation. why? because instead of simplifying life, we like to make it complicated. The string of why and why nots is never ending and as the old saying goes, misery loves company. And we are a bunch of misery loving people because living without it would be pointless or perhaps boring. Try imagining utopia. There's nothing to ask for. Everything is in place. Everything is on a dead end. Nothing to rant about. Everyone's mushy, endorphines are on a surplus. It's all pointless. Don't you love it if you're life is miserable. You wake up each day worrying about all the trivial things like what you're outfit matches you're newly handed-down shoes or whether you're going to take a taxi and get held up by other miserable scums of the earth or huddle in a long line of mrt-riding schmucks as if you're going to a rock concert. Yes, you're clinging to yourself hoping to get in and out alive. And each day you continue to hope for hope's sake that sometime in the near future everything will be changed and like sleeping beauty you'll open your eyes and realize that"heck, what have i been doing all my life, it's a good life!!'. You jump for joy and feel like doing a solo interpretative dance of "I will sing forever of youR Love o, Lord and so on". Sadly that day has not come yet. And the list goes on and on..

Note to self: Make my own list of how to be miserable. I'm sure I could come up with a lot of ideas. And you my dear reader, do yourself a favor. Press the X button to end your misery. Adios amigos!