the verdict is in

martin scorscesi was hailed with his academy-acclaimed flick "the departed", britney spears is confirmed to be loosing her marbles and i am now turning in my sneakers for a pair of pumps...

kill me now!

i guess, after deliberate suicidal attempts to weigh things, career v.s. financial freedom....no one says you can have both.not in this side of town, i guess. i mean, it doesn't happen to all of us. i think things will work out fine..things will fall into place sooner or later.. i'll miss a lot of people from work namely:

ICE- the rockin' chef slash kickass gf who never gets tired of pouring her heart out over lunch. I'll miss the cajun chicken and the pasta stuff you always share with me and gelo..and you of course..You've always been really sweet.

GELO- the snob, the quiet-type, scam-er of an agent, who've always really been the nice guy. i'll miss the jessica zafra books you lend me and our sarcastic overturns. and ok, i'll admit that you are smarter than all of our brains shredded into pulp. I'll miss sharing all those bitterness and listening to the office gossip, specially your issues with you know who.. hahaha.. i can keep a secret

GIL- the crazy mudda, hip-hop rapper wannabe. i'll miss seeing your tattooed leg, and singing FUTURE by Dicta License and Urbandub with you. I'll miss how you always say "sup, my niggah?!" hehe.. gangsta ka talaga.

MOMMY MITCH- my fave sup! not the one i have a vendetta against believe me. she's super sweet!! I'll miss how you always call me JOYCEE

THEA- buntis! I guess I would be able to attend your wedding reception or see you after you give birth..

ROMA "aROMA therapy"-you can't tease me anymore..hehehe. I'll miss your presence.

ABET- who calls me a man hater, who seems to have a fetish for my muscular arm, who uses me as his pinching bag. You'll find a new one, soon.. hehe

JOEFF- Hasta luego, amigo! I hope you'll get that spanish thing going on, dude. Bagay ka maging espanol..

ELLY- frenzy elly! my batchmate, looks like mababawasan na naman ang PS 197. We're near extinction..I miss everything about you, specially your rated-r chissims. lol

I'll miss the blue building, graveyard, the almost empty street of edsa during weekends, monday and tuesday nights, my rest days..this will be an unforgettable chapter in my so-called nocturnal life..

i'm having separation anxiety-attack even in my sleep.. i didn't realize that i was crying until i woke up sniffing and feeling really all-choked up with tears.. ok.. so maybe i'm exaggerating a bit.. only a wee bit..

this is one leap of fate (not faith).. to enter in another phase before i hit midlife crisis.. to be engulf in oblivion.. and to feel the misery of starting over..

come to think of it, i took a u-turn.. as my dad told me when i was asking him what i should do..he replied.. "....take the road that is easy to travel..". Thanks dad.. you're very vague.. some philosophical babble or maybe i was just being too literal..I really don't know if this is the right road.. but all the the old saying say "you'll never know until you get there"..

o well, it's do or die for me.. so either way, whatever path i take...it'll lead me to where i should be..

the thing is i am poor in directions.. yup, goodluck.

I need a compass!!

harakiri!

something to celebrate about

my blog is two years old, last feb. 22. (applause). let's review shall we? more or less i have shed a lot of skin, no reader's choice awards yet or something.. still pumping angst ever since i started blogging.. what more to expect..more rants, more action...spreading the word for blog domination cannot be attained over night.. so far i've shared most of my ups and downs, the perks and pains of living in the metro, my vendetta against my superior, my life's a bitch motto.. basically, all the good material for my own tv show perhaps.. but i guess, ratings would stink, after the pilot. this doesn't get any better than this. we're all caught up in our daily existence. we get tired of life but we never get tired of writing how much it makes us miserable. to add to the dilemma, i'm considering shifting gears..

i'm being offered a new job.. something beneath the super human expectations that my current job requires me. it's a normal job.. normal corporate job, which is why i am brain dead as of now.. i can't really function well.. decisions, decisions... this thing is i think i had this coming since i already have second thoughts with this job that i have.. what a perfect timing? if, i consider this new job, i'll start from scratch..if, i don't then i'm still a scratch building my own career in the field that i am in.. what are the perks of leaving my job? a normal life.better career opportunities . But practicality enters the scene. Will it help me pay my dues? Maybe enough to keep me anchored. What are the perks in staying? better lifestyle, well-adjusted environment, the people i'm with, staying in my comfort zone... which is rather stagnant and self-defeating don't you think?
how will i experience growth? at this point, i think i may have reach my decision but then again reality comes into play plus i do make things complicated.. they've only given my up to Monday to decide.

so should i stay or should i go?

If yes, text STAY to 2332 for globe and tm users and 233 for smart and tnt users
If no, text GO to 2332 for globe and tm users and 233 for smart and tnt users

The verdict will be given on Monday. What are you waiting for? TEXT na!

so here's something to celebrate about, the rise and fall of the graveyard shifter.

cheers everyone!

post-valentines notes

as promised, i'll give you a heads up on what happened to my friend who got into this social experiment called... speed mating... i mean dating... as i recalled, she said it was a different experience and that i should try it.. and maybe i would if i want to scare the entire male species away.. bwahahaha... world domination people! let's not forget my mission here. anyhow, she was able to mingle with 10 "single" men.. mix and match.. among all the 10 she was able to narrow it down to 3.. coz only 3 of the male species rouse her interest. clearly, she's very picky. N.B.S.B just like me.. it was fun,she liked mingling and flirting with the boys after all that was part of the whole plan... how does this whole speed dating thing work? basically after the whole rendezvous you get to rate each person.. if both pick each other... it means that you're meant have another round ... and perhaps be on the road to tying the knot or something...

but it's ok, we are not like in a hurry or something.. my friend's really... hhhmmmm, how shall i say it... meticulous.. he has to be a real gem.. a precious gem that would simply solve poverty and incontinence.. sadly that gem has not been found yet... but not to despair, the quest is not yet over... you haven't seen the last of the speed-dating-frenzy!!!

-o0o-

so yes, yesterday was valentines.. and we're all peculiarly smothered in hear-shaped stuff,bloody red was the theme... and i thought christmas was over.. people were swarmed by imaginary bees because of their overflowing displays of unnecessary sweetness and affection. yup, it became pretty ugly....


i spent the day bumming around the house.. i had my mini-marathon...but before that,early morning, I sent my dad a valentine greeting. Later, he replied. 'Thanks. Who's this?'

Annoyingly painful realization: My dad never did store my new number. He only recognizes my text when it has Dad or Daddy at the beginning of the message. haha. Umbag!

And so I asked.. Duh? It was me and why didn't he recognize it was me. And he replied.. "Weird ang phone mo" Yeah, right dad. Happy Valentines to you too.

So I let the day pass... watching, enjoying a good laugh out of House's sarcasms..by 2pm i received a text message...

"Joyz..whatchadoin?" said my friend

I said I was watching.

"Favor...hehehe"

I said " ANo?" If, it involves going out, NO"

"Dai na lugod. Kami na lang ni Princess ( Nevermind, I'll just ask Princess.)

Ano nga? (What is it?)

"Sabi mo abo mo." ( You said you can't do it)

I said yup, that's what favors are for. Even if you don't really want to do it,you end up doing it anyway coz after all you're doing her a favor. Favors are errands.

So she said...if I could buy her honey 1 red rose and half-dozen Krispy Kreme...

Yup. Coz that what friends do.. They cover each other's asses. And being a friend, being a loyal friend that is.. you'll set aside the whole movie marathon all for the sake of love..So there...another LUV SUX moment.

Text messaging should be band during BALENTIMES! Hehe

-o0o-
Later that evening, the rest of the housemates were invited by the "ultimate honeys" to join them in their dinner date, they kind of figure that they ordered way too much for them so they need a hand to finish the entire Entre'e..Half way through dinner we had shared our own ghost stories which is very timely..i guess .. and one of our house mates announced an unexpected news... which i'd rather share later...

Much later that evening.. at work, my officemate Joeff said I look different, and that he liked my style...He preferred to dubbed it as the "anti-christ look"

I don't know if it was a compliment or not. I took it anyway, either way. I still look COOL..

haha..

So there, I guess valentines was too overrated for me.. and I am not exaggerating..

sunggo!

LAST PICK-UP LINE SYNDROME

Guys, here are some reasons why you'll stay single....for good Please don't try this... ever..

example:

guy: excuse me... miss..

girl: yes?

guy: miss.. keyboard ka ba?

girl: huh?

guy: KEYBOARD ka ba?? kasi TYPE kita.

example 2

guy to girl: miss.. hindi tayo TAO, hindi tayo, HAYOP... BAGAY tayo

example 3

guy: miss.. hindi ka ba napapagod ?

girl: saan... bakit??

guy: kasi kagabi ka pa tumatakbo sa aking isipan..

YUP. undeniably cheesy and corny. Thanks BJ. Just some of the gazillion pick up lines that you have thrown, got stuck to my mind...and made us all nauseous, disoriented and hungry. Thanks for the effort though. Even if non of them really work, you still get an A for being unbelievably trying-hard.

do pick up lines really work??

VENTillation and other tales of the distressed

i guess it must be the hormones. i'm capable of really long rants and raves every once a month when the jeepers creepers pays me a visit.

let me self-destruct for 10 seconds or so.. just don't make me watch those mushy movies during that time coz i'll probably end up pulling my hair one by one.

let me just burn the holes in the paper that my fiery pen is causing.. let me write it. it's better. it's more calming.. it's therapeutic.

man, sometimes I really wish I was a man so that i won't get so annoying , emotional, moody or pimple-stricken and more dysfunctional than ever every month.. i can't even spell dysmenorrhea.

jumbagarrrrr!!

>>> the shout box is not working again..it's freaking useless again.. where the hell are those cookies?? and why have i deactivated them?? the hell! am i getting dumber at work ? or am i just simply naive.. i guess blogrollers, just use the comment box in the meantime. if you cannot post a shout in that useless thing..

-o0o-

back and forth, i'm contemplating on leaving.. leave or swap. I need to be LOST again..Feb 10 somebody please swap with me. I need to catch up from hiatus...waaaahhh

i need a week of marathon. i need to just sit in front the tv or watch a dvd of my fave series. plus i want to watch HEROES, HOUSE M.D., GREY'S ANATOMY, PRISON BREAK !! aaahhh.

-oO0-

Brain Power! I need to READ or I might DIE. Yup, I attended the read or die con.. Uber! (i'll try to post the pics later!) The place was swimming in books.. It was simply a piece of heaven on a patch of earth. Too bad, I'm uber nagtitipid. I was tempted to go book shopping.. waaaah, powerbooks was there, and booktopia too. I saw those books I've been dying to read and those that I had I hard time finding.. ah, caramba! sacrifice! we are all on a diet... diet from even spending money...on books...

this is so distressful.

let me cry in my sleep. damn this hormones!

is the friendship over?

I read an article last last Sunday in the Philippine Star. It was written by Francesca Ayala entitled Living through the art of losing (I'm not sure if you'll be able to access the link though, I have trouble finding it again..) Anyway, it about how friendship ends. It can end in so many ways.

In my life, there are so many ties that have been loosen and eventually cut off. Some merely acquaintances which became short-time bonds and others a mere get together that bloomed into what seems like an unending friendship. When I was in my elementary years, we have formed a group it was called T.U.F.A.C.S. I know.. it sounded like some sort of hip hop group wannabes. No way. hehe. I guess when you're so young you thought that things are indestructible and things will not change no matter what. You have this strange perception that promises will not be broken once you say "Peks man, cross my heart, hope to die" (30x). You have made some sort of pact to yourself and to this people that you will always be friends. But no matter how hard you try. things fall apart. you are randomly chosen by fate to fall apart... to be scattered.. to be unevenly distributed to one huge social circle. And so you slowly move on but then fate is a bitch too like Karmi. You bump into each other again and just like in the movies, memories flash back. You are see an invisible screen turned on and you get a short trip to memory lane.You realized that you used to really bond with these people. The bond was like super glue for one second. I guess everyone changes when you reached puberty. The concept of friendship differs from one clique to another. The T.U.F.A.C.S. were disbanded before we even got our own record label, so to speak. People grow up and grow apart. It's not a sad story. It's just the way it was meant to be. *hibi*

You see, I always like looking back. gives me this sense of nostalgia. In high school, after being disbanded and unfairly thrown into different classes (sections) I was forced to mingle. I was socially dysfunctional. But o well, I got close to some people. The people I thought would only be friends with me if I was the last person staying alive.

I thought it would somehow be permanent. We both like magazine, rock music, basketball, plus we share some sort of abhorrence to the MEAN socialite girls in our school. We even wrote letters to each other even though we're just one seat apart. But then I guess, I was right on that notion.She only liked me because I stand out among all the weird beings in the class. After first year, when we were no longer classmates, we just drifted apart. Maybe this wasn't friendship at all. Or maybe, I just have some kind of separation-anxiety.

Yup! It was so high school indeed. However it was in 2nd year high school that I got close to the friends whom I have until now (?). They really put the huge F in friendship. If it was marriage, we have every right to celebrate anniversaries. We did not recite our vows but coz was merely implied. We were there for each other through thick and thin. We shared a lot of life's ups and downs. But still, I guess things change like our wardrobe, our sense of style, our looks, our tastes. In silence, we drift away. Without knowing, the strong ties are loosen probably because it's just part of growing up. We mature and we cope with it. We cope with the signs of the times.

What bothers me are silences. You know these awkward silences you get when you suddenly run into the person you truly admire and you're simply tongue-tied and you just decided to ignore them. Perhaps, those weird moments when you're caught in mid-air because you run out of words to make some new acquaintance comfortable. This things happen when people start getting to know each other. But this shouldn't happen between true friends. These types of silences are those that can kill relationships. You just started to ignore each others text messages.. you fail to attend each others birthday parties, you no longer send long emails pouring your heart out because of a hellish break up or inviting each other to grab a bite just so you'd be able to catch up on what's going on with their lives.It's like you're worlds apart even though you're just one bus ride away. You start living in an alternate universe and speak alien language. Like what Avril said. "You're starting to trip and we're losing our grip.. I'm in this thing alone" (something like that, I don't know the exact lyrics.)

What's wrong? Maybe it's just how the ending is. It does hurt. But they are magnified into the nth fold, if endings are not vocal goodbyes... if it's just merely silences...as if there's an invisible sign that say...no entry or please do not disturb. It's not just ignoring the big snot that you see forming in your friend's face. It's like disregarding each others existence. There is huge vacuum from where I am to where you are. We can't pass through each others vacuum because we don't acknowledge that fact that maybe there is a gap. maybe there is something we're not telling each other. Was it a mere misunderstanding blown into huge proportions? It's tiresome to even decipher. It there a secret code, I haven't broken to get pass to your gates--to get through you? Paranoia reigns inside my head.

Is this how some friendships end? Maybe I'm just paranoid. Or maybe I'm just not asking the right question.

Is the friendship over?

Is love always the answer? O wait, it's not yet Valentines! Darn it!!

the anti-man

he called me a man hater.. does that mean that I hate humans? or do i just hate men-- as in the women with balls?

My officemate shouted.. "Joyce.. man hater!" and so i retorted that that I'm not a man hater, I just hated him. And that he shouldn't generalize coz it ain't nice. hekhekhek

I am not an anti-man. in fact, i do love men. I have a number of testosterone-induced idols. it's just that i hate the manly ways of men.

In general, I call the manly ways of the man as being the A in ASSHOLE. The inconsiderate, distant, emotionally-detached and boys-don't-cry mentality. on the other hand, the effeminate side can be more irritating and can rouse nervous breakdown in our part.

Is it because I am single? The typecast is pathetic. Just because I am not in a romantic relationship it doesn't mean that I have some sort of hatred towards men.

I am not an anti-man. I'm just hmm.. I have some sort of deficiency in romantic relationships. I feel awkward, like a kid. Okay, call it immature maybe. I just can't imagine myself being mushy, with all the puppy-dog eyes, and saying "baby" or "honey". I'll probably melt into oblivion, if i get caught saying those damned words.. it's just not normal to me.

i am abnormal. maybe i have this invisible shield against cupid's arrow or some sort of potion against love spells or maybe a Norton scanner against the love bug.. o hell, it's too early for my valentines post. God, everywhere i turn I see red. Red roses, boxes with heart-shaped chocolates. teddy bears..love-a-palooza spare me. I'm getting nauseous.

by the way, my housemate will join the speed dating thing. this is something to look forward to ladies and gentlemen. and we thought that internet dating was enough.. i guess love sucks talaga dude, pare, chong.

umbag!

back to basics

in preparation for our summer escapade, we're going back to the BASICS.. this means that you'll eat thrice a day. or if possible go on hunger strike to achieve the athlete-like, sculpted physique or if worse comes to worst, anorexic beauty that only in my liquid dreams exists. yes, i believe that this sentence is too long. it can either be a run-on or a fragment..moving on

part of the back-to-basics program is to cut down in our condo and miscellaneous expenses meaning, no air-con for a month, or perhaps only when necessary. To further expound, the usage of this device is for emergency purposes only--this is when the room temperature reaches 40'C or if the water in the refrigerator reaches boiling point. I think that it's highly unlikely so most probably, we won't me able to use the aircon until summer..

another inclusion is the one-nightout-per-month practice which.. i doubt it will be followed. boredom kills along with hunger strike.

no shopping or mall sprees, no pig-outs, or drinking binge.

let the dieting, saving (money) and bitching begin.
wish me and the housemates luck.

see you all in the afterlife.