caught in the act..

Sometimes, stupidity reality comes in different forms and like life, it bites back really hard. I was in the middle of mimicking my boss, when I got caught. He passed by while I was imitating him. Whenever he greets someone he has this mannerism of nodding like a Japanese on crack. At that instant, while I was engrossed at my impersonation...He suddenly appeared from the scenario. I was like... uh oh, I am literally dead meat. My officemates burst into laughter. Just when you thought that that humiliating experience has come to it's end. Think again. It happened twice. The second time was when I was in the middle of ranting over the contracts that his cousin--the Vice President hasn't signed yet. He was supposed to route the signed papers a few decades ago.It's been a while and we're cramming on meeting deadlines.And so as usual, I was raving about how he forgets about things and that it'll probably get back to the office "after 48 years"..when suddenly his Highness appeared. This time, he overheard me say his cousin's name..and he literally eyed me. At that point, I thought that I was going to loose my job..which actually could have made things easier. If I get fired, I would probably be relieved. But no. After a second or so, he got back to his "deep-thinking-mode" and pretended that he didn't hear me. I'm on this "ONE FALSE MOVE" scenario. If I get caught in the act again, I'll probably get thrown off the building. I'm amazed by people's perfect timing. It is as if, I am being mocked by my own miserable rants. Lesson learned, never literally bad-mouth someone, specially it's the freaking VP of the company. Charge this experience to the mishaps of black baligang.

Parting words: "Me and my big mouth..."

how to induce a migraine

It’s hard to be creative at 1 am. it’s also hard to get up early in the morning specially on mondays. I specially hate mondays. Hell starts on mondays. If you want to be bedridden by the end of the week, think about this. Everyday is MONDAY. But that’s beyond the point, we are talking about how to induce a migraine.

STEP 1

It’s lucrative enough just to browse around and do all the clerical work man has ever thought of. Talk about INFORMATION OVERLOAD.You're fixing the 201 files of the employees and you suddenly noticed something peculiar in the biodata. Under RELIGION, he wrote ATHEIST. It wouldn’t have mattered but when you took a second look. You realized, you’re holding the VICE-PRESIDENT’s file, you numb-skull! No wonder he sucks at running the company. He needs divine intervention, for crying out loud!

STEP 2

Try not to laugh. BE tactful. Again be cautious. Try not to laugh to some of the mind-blowing english your interviewee says. Give them credit for the nose bleeding and anxiety attacks. But by the end of the day, you’re temporal lobe is trobbing as fast as your heart…

STEP 3

Reports. Orders. Reports.Orders. Deadlines,Requests, Meetings. It’s a freaking balancing act.Which is which? Which one comes firsts? Ok. I understand why people quit and the level of attrition rate has sky-rocketed.

STEP 4

Naggers. Gossip Folks. They’re all the same. Don’t let them get to you. But the harder you veer away from them, the closer they’ll get to you. Is this the black plague?

STEP 5

powernap. 15 minute breaks are not considered siesta times.

and you think being employed places you on top of the food chain. think again

yes boss!

power tripping. haven't trip that before. i think i won't but if worse come to worst.. i might. if the situation calls for it, i might be forced to do so. sometimes, all it takes is confidence. confidence is not letting people own you or treat you like a doormat. the conceited ones over do it. the problem is you're not the boss of me. i'm not the boss of you. there are boundaries that we shouldn't cross. if people are aware of these boundaries, the world would be a better place and most probably there will be a significant difference in the mortality and crime rate. a little suck up loser told me that "if you can't beat them, join them". sometimes, submission are devious ways of the cowards. i'm a leo. a lion. so pardon me, if just the thought of submission makes me choke a bucket of hairball.

i can't bend time and space continum!

I envy Hiro Nakamura. He has the ability to bend time and space just by mere concentration. He can change outcomes or intervenes in any possible catastrophic events. It's disappointing that sometimes you're given a million things to do in a span of a second.. I don't know if I'm just slow or I just can't really master the art of multitasking. And sometimes out of clumsiness and under estimation, you mess things up. Now a series of unfortunate events follows and all because you missed out on a single detail. And in a few seconds, your day turns into night. So to people who can do a billion things and still manage to blow dry their hair in the morning without burning it, I salute you.

dropping by and dropping out

catastrophe. the p.c. is corrupted with a gazillion sorts of viruses. mcafee has lost it's purpose and so the internet is also down. first thing's first.we have to find a decent techy guy to fix the ultimate problem. it turns out it's not zpdee's fault now. the only solution is to have the pc reformatted. whatever the hell that means... and so we have to make a back up of the important files we stored in the precious pc but first.... where can i find a decent techy guy to fix the problem. how much will it cost? will i be homeless by next week. who knows?

so, here i am in this nostalgic internet shop where it all started, googling my way into nowhere...trying to find a repair guy.. and for the meantime.. out of frustration i'm dropping by my own personal sanctuary..my blog.. the meter is ticking though, this ain't free.. so what the heck...i got to go..

come to think of it... it rhymes.. : )

Tchuss!